I'm STARVING!
One of the less glamorous parts of life in Japan is that the ATMs are not open 24 hours a day in most places, the places where I live and work, being two of them. Instead, the ATMs are open:
8am - 8pm on weekdays
noon - 7pm on Saturdays
noon - 6pm on Sundays
It's annoying, but I've adjusted. The worst part though is that I never get home from work until after 9 and I have no time to go to the ATM during the day at work because it is too far away. So, if I want money, I need to get it during a 2 hour window between when the ATMs open at 8 and when I must leave for my train at around 10. It also means that I must use the ATM Friday morning if I will need money between then and Sunday at noon. There are no opportunities otherwise.
STUPID me, forgot to use the ATM Friday morning and I have only exactly enough money to take the train home tonight. I am STARVING and have plenty of money in the bank, but I can't access it and can't eat. Worse, the only food I have at home is a packet of chili seasoning, an opened jar of peanut butter, a green pepper, and half of a bag of frozen shrimp. I am STARVING! Have I mentioned how STARVING I am?! I haven't eaten since last night, and I am STARVING!
I am so aggrivated right now. 1) because of my ridiculous job that makes me work unpaid for a bizillion hours a day and prevented me from getting to the ATM before it closed at 7 today even though I ran nearly two kilometers as fast as I could after my lesson to get there in time, and 2) because of the ridiculousness of not allowing people to access their money after such early times in the day!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
But instead of thinking about how hungry I am, I am going to go teach another lesson, then run to the train and barely make it in time to get home at 10:20 (after leaving for work this morning at 10:15) and apparently eat peanut butter, shrimp, and water from the tap. What a great life I have here!!
(I hate being this angry, but sometimes you've just gotta vent and let it out!)
Oh...and I haven't heard back about the job I interviewed for and it is now the end of the month, so that means that I probably didn't get that and will still soon find myself unemployed. And it is finally my day off tomorrow, and not only is it going to rain, but I am also getting sick.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Eye of the beholder
Those of you that know me know that I am a huge country music fan. I'm not however a Garth Brooks fan. So, when one of his songs accidentally happens to pop up on my iTunes playlist, I usually quickly skip it and move on to the next and hopefully better song.
However, a little while ago, a catchy little old school duet by him and Trisha Yearwood came on called In Another's Eyes. On first listen, I didn't think much of it. But once I started paying closer attention to the lyrics, I began to totally love the song and the message it was trying to say.
In another's eyes
I'm someone who
Loves her enough to walk away from you
I'd never cheat and I would never lie
In another's eyes, yeah
Although the song mostly deals with relationships and trust therein, the song got me thinking about how to different people, we are different things/roles. I guess a better way to say that, is that everyone has a different perspective on who and how we are. It's pretty amazing to me that every single person that I meet, even for a second, will forever have a unique opinion/perspective of me, and definition/description of me, my actions, and my personality.
And what is even more amazing to me, is that to each person, their own unique perspective of me is truth. It's all in the eye of the beholder. While it may be true for one person that I am a nice and caring person, it may also be true for someone else that has met me that I am a mean and heartless person.
I personally don't believe the latter to be true, but that is just my perspective of my self. And I guess the notion of self really is just that, another perspective.
There's really not much point to this blog, other than 1) to share what I think is a pretty interesting and possibly thought provoking idea, and 2) to remind us that even introverts like me, which typically spend so much time and energy looking inward need to remember that we are all connected in a pretty amazing way and that the external matters too.
I've been reading a really fascinating book called Buddha which is essentially a biography of the Buddha's life and spiritual journey. (I highly recommend the book) Pulling from the song and the book, I finally feel like I am starting to put it all together. Like some big spiritual jigsaw puzzle.
It's all just about being a good person and doing the right thing. It's pretty simple: when we do the right thing, we feel good. When we do bad things, we may not feel bad right away, but guilt or remorse almost always follow at some point. I think maybe we just have taken this really simple idea and made it really really complicated. And when you think about it, almost all of the many different religions in the world talk in some way about the notion of doing the right thing.
They just seem to be variations of the same idea. We even come fully equipped with our very own moral compass to guide us in deciding what is right from what is wrong. It just seems so simply obvious now.
If we live our life doing the right thing and doing good for others; refraining from selfish or unethical behavior, we will live peaceful and un-conflicted lives, die with a feeling of peacefulness, but live on forever in the infinite perspectives of us from everyone we meet along the way.
If you can't tell already, by no choice of my own, I seem to have ended up in the middle of Japan on a bit of a spiritual journey myself. These ideas are just that; ideas that have come to me along the way. So please totally disregard them if they are crazy, or please think about them and let me know what you think if they seem to make sense or be on the right track to something.
Peace out.
However, a little while ago, a catchy little old school duet by him and Trisha Yearwood came on called In Another's Eyes. On first listen, I didn't think much of it. But once I started paying closer attention to the lyrics, I began to totally love the song and the message it was trying to say.
In another's eyes
I'm someone who
Loves her enough to walk away from you
I'd never cheat and I would never lie
In another's eyes, yeah
Although the song mostly deals with relationships and trust therein, the song got me thinking about how to different people, we are different things/roles. I guess a better way to say that, is that everyone has a different perspective on who and how we are. It's pretty amazing to me that every single person that I meet, even for a second, will forever have a unique opinion/perspective of me, and definition/description of me, my actions, and my personality.
And what is even more amazing to me, is that to each person, their own unique perspective of me is truth. It's all in the eye of the beholder. While it may be true for one person that I am a nice and caring person, it may also be true for someone else that has met me that I am a mean and heartless person.
I personally don't believe the latter to be true, but that is just my perspective of my self. And I guess the notion of self really is just that, another perspective.
There's really not much point to this blog, other than 1) to share what I think is a pretty interesting and possibly thought provoking idea, and 2) to remind us that even introverts like me, which typically spend so much time and energy looking inward need to remember that we are all connected in a pretty amazing way and that the external matters too.
I've been reading a really fascinating book called Buddha which is essentially a biography of the Buddha's life and spiritual journey. (I highly recommend the book) Pulling from the song and the book, I finally feel like I am starting to put it all together. Like some big spiritual jigsaw puzzle.
It's all just about being a good person and doing the right thing. It's pretty simple: when we do the right thing, we feel good. When we do bad things, we may not feel bad right away, but guilt or remorse almost always follow at some point. I think maybe we just have taken this really simple idea and made it really really complicated. And when you think about it, almost all of the many different religions in the world talk in some way about the notion of doing the right thing.
They just seem to be variations of the same idea. We even come fully equipped with our very own moral compass to guide us in deciding what is right from what is wrong. It just seems so simply obvious now.
If we live our life doing the right thing and doing good for others; refraining from selfish or unethical behavior, we will live peaceful and un-conflicted lives, die with a feeling of peacefulness, but live on forever in the infinite perspectives of us from everyone we meet along the way.
If you can't tell already, by no choice of my own, I seem to have ended up in the middle of Japan on a bit of a spiritual journey myself. These ideas are just that; ideas that have come to me along the way. So please totally disregard them if they are crazy, or please think about them and let me know what you think if they seem to make sense or be on the right track to something.
Peace out.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Chris solves world problems, part 1
Note: this blog is not meant to be taken seriously or offensively.
Last weekend, I found myself in Osaka and just happened to end up at a Mexican festival celebrating Mexican Independence Day. How fun, I thought.
What a great way to meet some new people and maybe even enjoy some delicious (and hard to come by) Mexican food. So, I went along with my two Japanese friends, only to discover that there was not a Mexican person anywhere in sight. I looked and looked, but the entire festival consisted of all Japanese people and one American (me). Only in Japan would there be a Mexican festival without any actual Mexicans.
I did enjoy a refreshing Corona though. :)
Anyway, recently as you know, there have been huge problems and even protests over illegal immigration into the United States, predominantly by Mexicans. Evidenced by the Mexican-less Mexican festival in Osaka last weekend, there also seems to be a desperate need for a Mexican presence in Japan.
So, I say: People of Mexico: if you are thinking about illegally moving to America, head to Japan instead. Cranky border patrolling conservative Americans will be happy, and the fine people of Osaka can finally stop dressing in sombreros and trying to speak with a horrible Japanese-Mexican accent at their annual festival.
Problem solved. Next up: world peace.
Last weekend, I found myself in Osaka and just happened to end up at a Mexican festival celebrating Mexican Independence Day. How fun, I thought.
What a great way to meet some new people and maybe even enjoy some delicious (and hard to come by) Mexican food. So, I went along with my two Japanese friends, only to discover that there was not a Mexican person anywhere in sight. I looked and looked, but the entire festival consisted of all Japanese people and one American (me). Only in Japan would there be a Mexican festival without any actual Mexicans.
I did enjoy a refreshing Corona though. :)
Anyway, recently as you know, there have been huge problems and even protests over illegal immigration into the United States, predominantly by Mexicans. Evidenced by the Mexican-less Mexican festival in Osaka last weekend, there also seems to be a desperate need for a Mexican presence in Japan.
So, I say: People of Mexico: if you are thinking about illegally moving to America, head to Japan instead. Cranky border patrolling conservative Americans will be happy, and the fine people of Osaka can finally stop dressing in sombreros and trying to speak with a horrible Japanese-Mexican accent at their annual festival.
Problem solved. Next up: world peace.
Adventures in Japan
Many people write me asking me what it is like living in Japan. So, I thought I'd share some of the high points of my very typical Saturday.
6 pm – went to Nagoya and studied Japanese at Starbucks
6:15pm – guy at Starbucks put 5 shots of espresso in my latte for some reason
8 pm – found a lone box of Kraft Easy Mac at the international grocery store and nearly had an orgasm out of excitement
8:01 pm – realized that that would have been weird
9 pm – went to my favorite gay bar in Nagoya and was hit on by a really hot Japanese guy
9:45 pm – found out that he was only 19 years old
12:30 am – cycled home from the train station and was again reminded of the importance of keeping my mouth closed when I cycle at night so that bugs don't fly in
2:30 am – laid awake cursing the Starbucks guy for giving me the 5 shots of espresso that were keeping me from falling asleep
12 pm – went to the beach to study Japanese
1 pm – saw two huge grasshoppers mating next to my beach chair. They apparently thought I'd like to watch. Turns out that I did.
1 pm – saw two huge grasshoppers mating next to my beach chair. They apparently thought I'd like to watch. Turns out that I did.
6 pm – went to Nagoya and studied Japanese at Starbucks
6:15pm – guy at Starbucks put 5 shots of espresso in my latte for some reason
8 pm – found a lone box of Kraft Easy Mac at the international grocery store and nearly had an orgasm out of excitement
8:01 pm – realized that that would have been weird
9 pm – went to my favorite gay bar in Nagoya and was hit on by a really hot Japanese guy
9:45 pm – found out that he was only 19 years old
12:30 am – cycled home from the train station and was again reminded of the importance of keeping my mouth closed when I cycle at night so that bugs don't fly in
2:30 am – laid awake cursing the Starbucks guy for giving me the 5 shots of espresso that were keeping me from falling asleep
So, as you can see, I am every bit the same loveable dork that I was in America. Hopefully this gives you some picture of how similar but slightly different my life is here.
Turning 25
Yep. Ol' Chris is about to reach the quarter century mark in just under 2 weeks.
Am I excited to be getting old (25 just seems so old and grown up), nope! In fact, I would kind of prefer to just let it slip by unnoticed.
However, I still want presents. haha J What kind of present do you get for someone living in a far away country you ask?
iTunes gift cards! Lots of them!
iTunes is my connection to current pop culture, including American tv shows which I can watch again and again. So really, a gift card is the gift that just keeps on giving.
How do you get the card to me? Even easier, just send me a message with the code.
Seriously, I'm only kidding. But if by any chance you do want to get me something for my birthday, or just because, an iTunes gift card is perfect and would make me really happy.
Am I excited to be getting old (25 just seems so old and grown up), nope! In fact, I would kind of prefer to just let it slip by unnoticed.
However, I still want presents. haha J What kind of present do you get for someone living in a far away country you ask?
iTunes gift cards! Lots of them!
iTunes is my connection to current pop culture, including American tv shows which I can watch again and again. So really, a gift card is the gift that just keeps on giving.
How do you get the card to me? Even easier, just send me a message with the code.
Seriously, I'm only kidding. But if by any chance you do want to get me something for my birthday, or just because, an iTunes gift card is perfect and would make me really happy.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
I quit!
I love Japan.
I love living here.
I love the food.I love the people.
I love my students.
And I love teaching.
What I don't love, is my job. I'm not going to name my company, as that is super unprofessional, but suffice it to say, I am really unhappy there. And the situation is bad enough, that I realized that it is time to be brave and quit.
Japan is loaded with awful employers (English schools) that take advantage of and treat their foreign employees badly. I thought that I had done the right research and had picked a good one, but I guess I was wrong. Nearly everything I was told during my interview turned out to be a variation of the truth.
My grievences are too numerous to name, but some of the big ones include having to spend more than 50 hours at my 29.5 hour per week job, being forced to eat lunch and dinner 5 days a week from a convenience store, being forced and rewarded for milking my students out of every cent they have, being forced to teach more than the maximum number of classes listed in my contract, only to find out that the maximum number is something that is completely disregarded by my company, having to commute nearly 2.5 hours a day, and working at a company that consistently makes my Japanese coworkers cry as a way to "motivate" them to achieve their absurdly high and unattainable profit goals.
This isn't for me. And to be honest, it goes against my morals to even work at a company like this. So, on Friday, I drafted a carefully worded letter of resignation, and early yesterday afternoon, I resigned my position.
I don't have a job or anything lined up yet, but I gave 4 months notice (what my contract says I must do, but in practice isn't enforced), so I have lots of time to figure it out. I feel very guilty about leaving my students this way, but in my heart and in my head, I know that this is the right decision.
So, my last day will be January 10, 2007. After that, some options include:
Finding an assistant teacher position in a public elementary school or kindergarten.
Finding a part time job, and finding private students to teach.
Finding a non-english teacher position.
Moving to Thailand or Indonesia to teach.
I thought that I would feel really scared to have quit my job in a foreign country, but actually, I feel totally liberated. There are so many options and places I can go and things I can do. I'm really glad that I made this decision.
Monday, September 4, 2006
GWM iso LTR
Being a gay foreigner in deepest rural Japan is very difficult. Before I came to Japan, I already knew that Japanese culture generally isn't very accepting of homosexuality, and that there would be many challenges for me. And there are many challenges. Challenges such as my only coworker not being comfortable with me being gay. Challenges such as some of my students saying obvious and derogatory comments about gay people to me. (some of my students know and some don't) And of course, there are many challenges associated with the language barrier.
But despite these challenges, I have remained positive. I've bought books and maps to find gay bars. I've scoured the internet, yet I can not find a single gay person that lives within 30 minutes of me in any direction.
The reason for this blog is that this weekend has been pretty tough for me in terms of this. To be perfectly honest, although I have a number of friends here, I am quite lonely for the companionship of a relationship. On Saturday night, I ended up going to a really romantic restaurant with two friends, and while they talked all night about their respective partners, I sat there alone. Then, last night, some of my friends wanted to go to the gay bar that I finally found in Nagoya and go to sometimes, but the bar master wouldn't let them come in because they were not gay, and it was really awkward for me. Now, I feel too awkward to go back there, which is bad because that was my one venue to meet people.
I know that neither of these incidents is a big deal, but for whatever reason, they made me feel really sad and epitomized all of the difficulties I've experienced here because of my sexuality. It just made me feel completely hopeless about ever meeting someone while I'm here, which is a long time.
I know that I'm being a little dramatic, and I've spent the past two department holiday parties on the singles couch, so I'm no stranger to being single.
I guess I just wish it were easier.
But despite these challenges, I have remained positive. I've bought books and maps to find gay bars. I've scoured the internet, yet I can not find a single gay person that lives within 30 minutes of me in any direction.
The reason for this blog is that this weekend has been pretty tough for me in terms of this. To be perfectly honest, although I have a number of friends here, I am quite lonely for the companionship of a relationship. On Saturday night, I ended up going to a really romantic restaurant with two friends, and while they talked all night about their respective partners, I sat there alone. Then, last night, some of my friends wanted to go to the gay bar that I finally found in Nagoya and go to sometimes, but the bar master wouldn't let them come in because they were not gay, and it was really awkward for me. Now, I feel too awkward to go back there, which is bad because that was my one venue to meet people.
I know that neither of these incidents is a big deal, but for whatever reason, they made me feel really sad and epitomized all of the difficulties I've experienced here because of my sexuality. It just made me feel completely hopeless about ever meeting someone while I'm here, which is a long time.
I know that I'm being a little dramatic, and I've spent the past two department holiday parties on the singles couch, so I'm no stranger to being single.
I guess I just wish it were easier.
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