1) On the cusp. I'm an introvert and have always sort of marched to the beat of my own metaphorical drummer. I really value my alone time and because of that, or maybe for no reason at all, I've always felt somewhat on the cusp of a lot of things and groups. I'm totally okay with this, as I have a great group of friends and I really like who I am, which is all that really matters. But every August/September, I always feel a little bit down...
In the college setting, August and September are all about community building and the forming of groups and friendships. Staffs come together and form teams. First year students meet for the first time and become roommates and lasting friends. Upperclassmen return from their summer breaks excited to reunite with their old friends and to make new ones.
But as a staff member, I'm someone left out of this; again on the cusp. The young part in me wishes he could join in. But the professional part of me understands that this is not my role. Regardless, being a young professional has its challenging times, and each August/September, I always feel a little bit down. Sigh...
2) Sick and tired: literally. It's now been 24 LONG days since my last day off and I have reached new levels of tiredness. And just for fun, my allergies are more out of control than me at an all you can eat dessert buffet. Basically, my days are a medley of yawns, sneezes, and brief moments of sleep in random places. It's not a pretty picture...
3) Defeated. I'm normally such a resilient person. I've been working really hard on something for most of this year that's very important to me. Along every step of the way, I've been met with rejections, sobering realities, and additional obstacles. And each time, I've regrouped, pasted a smile on my face, and tried something new. Until tonight, when I just discovered yet another setback....
Because of the combination of being so tired, not feeling well, and all of the obstacles I've already dealt with, I'm feeling pretty defeated. I'm not sure if I should just give up on it; if all of these obstacles are signs that this is just not meant to be. How do you know when to give up and just throw in the towel on a dream?
Sigh...this is a pretty depressing blog. But, they can't all be cheery, and it's just how I feel today.
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